Kheimistrii Body Souffle and Kreme Body Moisture Review

About a month ago, a redditor posted on IMAM about this great little indie company she found, brand spankin’ new: Kheimistrii. Man, that is so hard to spell. Anyways, she was holding a 40% off sale so I figured, “Why not?” and ordered three body lotions. Shipping is weirdly expensive and so the 40% off only really paid for shipping and ten cents off of the whole purchase, lol.

2 oz jars are surprisingly small. Hmmm. Apologies for the lighting, this was at night!

To give you an idea + a rundown of what I bought:
Dark Shadows Macadamia Body Souffle 2 oz.
4.50 + 2.50 shipping
Kimberley Rose Kreme Body Moisturizer
4.50 + 1.50 shipping
Ginger Glace Kreme Body Moisturizer
4.50 + 1.50 shipping

My subtotal was $14 + 5.50 shipping. The discount took off 5.60, so in total it was 13.90.

Of course, IMAM flooded her with orders and she had some difficulty processing 80 orders suddenly. I’m super happy for her, but… oops. Anyways, her TAT shouldn’t reflect mine. She sent me a message saying that she was overwhelmed, which was nice. I asked again on the 24th when it would be ready, and she said she was actually packing and shipping it the next morning. I received a shipping notification, sure enough, but the tracking # didn’t exist. When it did, all it said was pre-shipment info was sent. It wasn’t actually received by the post office for another two days.

Ordered: Oct 12th
Shipped: Oct  27th
Arrived: Oct 29th

She gave me insured, tracked, two day packaging. No idea if that’s standard or if it was compensation for waiting so long.

Enough with my rambling… let’s go!

Dark Shadows Macadamia Body Souffle
Fragrance notes: primal pomegranate, white patchouli, opopanax, olibanum, purple plum, aged oak, black currant, vanilla ambrosia and honey nectar

This sounded awesome, but… alas. It smells like pomegranates, but deeply artificial and very… weird. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the oak, patchouli, opopanax, olibanum… you get the gist. It’s meh. Very meh. It turns powdery and grandma-y on me. I sort of say that for everything, though.

Pros: Well. If you want to smell like a primal grandmother, this is great for you. (Oh god.)
Cons: Sigh. Sorry, love, but I have to heavily disagree with your description: “Macadamia Souffle has a light & fluffy texture and does not leave behind an oily film. Easily absorbed into the skin, leaving behind a silky after-feel.” It was EXTREMELY greasy. Literally the greasiest thing I have ever used. Greasier than Bath and Body Works, and that is pretty damn greasy. It took 40 freaking minutes to absorb into my skin. My skin doesn’t feel any smoother, silkier, or better. And it STILL had a film. I judge things whether they leave a fingerprint on my phone when I touch it and sweet mother of Jesus, if I committed a crime with this body lotion on, they’d have so much evidence because FINGERPRINTS WERE EVERYWHERE.

Just… skip this. I can’t really think of any pros except smelling like a primal grandma. I mean, if that’s your thing go for it.

Kimberley Rose Kreme Body Moisturizer
This is not the musky rose fragrance that you get by sniffing the beautiful bouquet. Not to be mistaken for your mama’s rose-scented eau de toilette floral water from back in the day. This is a rose like no other. Fresh, hand-picked Bulgarian roses, intermingled with just-cut Dune & Musk roses. set atop santalum, rained on by vanilla accord, sprinkled with cocoa bean, resinous amber, star anise & musk, and grounded with earthy green moss.

Sounds great, right? Non-musky rose? Sign me up. Unfortunately, it smells exactly like musky rose. Oh well, creativity for the description.
Pros: Well. It feels moisturizing. I can’t comment for this one’s moisturizing power; the smell was too artificial and powdery I had to wash it off.
Cons: The smell, obviously. I’m not really a fan. Other than that, the same complaint as the Dark Shadows Souffle.

Ginger Glace
Spicy ginger, enveloped by crunchy sugar crystals, sprinkled with amber and enveloped in the cool richness of vanilla cream.

Hmm. This… this is alright.
Pros: It smells like ginger, obviously. If you’ve ever eaten Thai food, you know what ginger I’m talking about. It’s sharp, surrounded by other spices, and accompanied by coconut. This is what it smells like, sort of.
Cons: Obviously Thai food isn’t what a person is going for when they order this, but it’s what it reminds me of. Still greasy and still long wait to absorb.

With my order, I got three little bars of soap in way-too-big plastic bags. They seem to all smell the same, but that’s probably because they were in a bag together for three plus days.

Overall, I was really let down. This is my first indie purchase for lotion and things, and I should have let others review it first. But here my forewarning to y’all. Pick and choose carefully, avoid the Body Souffles, and you should be alright. Kheimberley is a sweetheart with a gorgeous name. I feel bad not liking her products, but this is an honest review. Hopefully she reformulates and changes some things! Kheimistrii has so much potential, and I really hope she uses it all.

Edit 11/17/14:

I’d like to take a moment and add a few thoughts. I’ve been using the Ginger Glace lotion a few more times since I published this (the other two are untouched because the smell is just so… undesirable).

The containers she uses are not very good at sealing. Lotion ended up leaking everywhere in my bag, as well as forming a crust of dried lotion. All. The. Time. This is best used in a stationary place.

As it gets drier and deeper into winter, the lotion absorbs faster, but it still is not quick by any means. It takes about thirty minutes.

The smell and absorbency rate are really what’s keeping me from buying again. I’d also like to point out she’s raised her prices.

I don’t think my thoughts have really changed on her products.

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