Alkemia Perfumes GC ft. my hate for Au Lait

With the awesome success concerning HoG, I decided to grab some Alkemia samples. They were 5 for $10, with free shipping. I asked for County Fair, Au Lait, Blessed Bee, Elixir of Aphrodite, Midnight Garden, and Vixen for my sixth free sample.

County Fair, Au Lait, Blessed Bee, Elixir of Aphrodite, Midnight Garden, and Vixen.

Ordered: October 5th
Shipped: October 7th
Received: October 9th
Pretty good for across the country. I thought it would take ages.

Oh boy, here we go.

County Fair
The nostalgic scent of an old-fashioned American carnival midway – pink cotton candy, hot kettle corn, freshly fried dough, candied apples, and saltwater taffy.

Initial Sniff This smells very similar to Mango Sticky Rice, with just a hint of something floral in it. It most definitely doesn’t smell like a fair, but more of a confectionary.

Wet It smells like warm, buttery sugar. I can smell the kettle corn, but it’s what the sugar smells like, not the popcorn.

Drydown Its scent doesn’t change at all, but my skin chemistry seems to be really compliant with what I put it.

I like this; it’s an alternate for MSR that is less coconut creamy and more buttered sugar. It’s not mind shattering, however.

Au Lait
A cozy, ultra-cuddly blend of rich, creamy milk swirled with tonka, wild honey, and a touch of caramelized brown sugar.

Initial Sniff Oh my lord, this is the worst thing I have ever smelled. It smells like rotten milk. Not just rotten milk, but milk that’s been out for days. Weeks. Months. Let it be known this is horrible. Instead of prison time, we should just make them spend time in a room with this wafting around. I’m like 99% sure this will reform America.

Wet I refuse to put this on me.

Drydown Never would I let this be on me long enough for it to dry.

No. Just no. Say no to Au Lait. I don’t care if you do drugs, just don’t buy this perfume. That little heart on the ‘i’ is so deceptive. Don’t be fooled, guys.

Blessed Bee
A blend of three honeys – pure, sweet, golden, naked.

Initial Sniff I’m not exactly sure of the difference between naked honey and pure honey, but this just smells sweet. It doesn’t have a trace of honey, if I will be honest. This just smells like a regular sweet perfume.

Wet Honey. Who would have known. Jk, it’s super grandma-y.

Drydown It’s just… icky. It doesn’t have any honey to it. It turns into 80 year-old grandma on me.

Maybe it’s the naked honey messing everything up. If honey is naked, does that mean there is no honey? Can we take a moment and ask ourselves, what even is naked honey? It’s just probably another name for raw, but that’s not the point.

Elixir of Aphrodite
Luxurious love spell of Persian apricots dipped in orange blossom honey swirling with a sensual enchantment of peach and plum blossoms, mimosa, white star jasmine, ambrette, guiac wood, and vanilla musk.

Initial Sniff Besides the intense stare of Aphrodite in the picture, this perfume smells exactly like Lush (bath and beauty store that smells like headache and death.) I hate how Lush smells, so this was ugh. It’s just as strong, too. I can catch the peach, I think, with a crapton of wood and musk.

Wet It’s like Lush decided to camp out on my wrists.

Drydown I rubbed this off. I couldn’t stand this scent at all.

It gave me a headache. 😦 If you want to smell like Lush, though, by all means, go for it.

Midnight Garden
A lunar intoxication of night-flowering white flowers – tuberose (flower of dangerous pleasures), lily (flower of majestic beauty), honeysuckle (flower of binding love), gardenia (flower of secret passions) and moonflower (flower that inspires dreams of love). Hauntingly beautiful.

Initial Sniff I had really high hopes for this one since the description is so, so nice. But it smells like Lush, too. 😦 It’s less intense, but with tons more sweet and floral notes. The honeysuckle is pretty prominent… But other than that, I can’t tell anything else apart. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t know what those other flowers smell like.

Wet I started getting a headache. The scent was unidentifiable.

Drydown I stood it for about ten minutes, but in the end I took this off, too. I wasn’t really a fan.

Great if you want to smell like flowers. Just know that they’ll be extreme flowers. Whatever that means.

Vixen
A captivatingly shapeshifting blend of sexy white amber and luminous late summer night blooming florals awakened by warm caresses of autumnal spice, golden musk, varietal apple peel, sugar pumpkin, jasmine tea, and a whisper of woodland mosses.

Initial Sniff I like it in the bottle. Not sure how amber can be sexy, but I definitely smell autumn spice and pumpkin.

Wet It ramped up to a lot of musk and pumpkin. Mm, musky pumpkins. 😉

Drydown This one actually changed on me. Or rather, I tolerated this long enough for it to react. The spice completely faded (boooo!) and then it was just like the other perfumes.

Once this is dry, it just smells generic.

I’m kind of disappointed. The only one I ended up liking was County Fair. They all smell the same, TBH. Even County Fair, which doesn’t even remotely smell like flowers. This is good if you like generic, strong, grandma-y, semi-floral-y scents, but I don’t. I hear from IMAM that they’re very close to name brand perfumes and mainstream ones, so give them a try if you think you’ll like it.

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